I saw the signs on the third week.  I already knew it's not going to work out, but I was still hoping that some miracle might happen.  I thought of a plan, an alternative solution.. it's not technically the right thing to do, but I took the risk.

First week.

I was ecstatic, I couldn't believe I was actually doing it.  I wasn't there to just sightsee, I was there to make a living.. to try to make a living.  The thought of residing in a foreign country excites me.

Whenever I visit places, I always try to blend in.  It's not that I don't want to look like a tourist, but, yeah, I actually don't want to look like a tourist but I always fail because no local would carry a digital camera around taking pictures of almost everything.. plus, no one's using a digital camera anymore, except for me.

The first week was all fun; the Laneway Festival (which I admitted was the reason why I decided to fly early), the Universal Studios (which I didn't plan to visit for the second time but got a 50% discount, so why not?), every grocery/mall trips to Sengkang, Buangkok, Serangoon, Orchard, and of course, Bugis were kind of the high lights of my (almost) month-long stay, and noodles.  

It was all fun until I realized I didn't bring enough money and all I did was to spend them all in a week.  That's fucking stupid.  I must really learn how to budget.

The second week got a bit more exciting.

I received calls and emails from the companies I applied to (online), but those were just for pre-assessment.  I thought maybe there was a chance for me to join them and work like a robot but then be so happy by the end of the month.  I could buy a nicer camera, finally, and have more budget to explore (Asia first hihi).  In my head, I was saying that.

The third week passed, but no one bothered to re-check on my applications and ask me further questions about my skills, on what I could possibly contribute to their company.  I thought maybe that's it.  But I was still hoping that someone out there might see me as a possible asset to their ever growing population and ask me to join them, so I decided to exit.

On the fourth week, I went to Genting, Malaysia.

My previous office mate advised me not to do that because it's risky, but I'm going to need a local or a permanent resident to get my extension approved, and I have none, so I had to do what I had to do.

It was risky, yes, indeed, it was.  But I don't want to give up just like that.  I don't want to leave with "what ifs" in my head.  But you already know the ending.  I was only given until my flight back home.  I thought maybe the return ticket could do the trick.

It's nice to be back home, don't get me wrong, but I can't stop thinking about the pending interviews I could have had because their application process is ridiculously long.. it's too fucking long, actually.  I also missed a call while I was on the bus terminal going back to Singapore.  Those regrets will forever linger, or maybe if not forever (dahil walang forever), maybe for a year or two.

Those were the longest 29 days I have had.

The joy, the excitement, the sadness, the frustrations, and regrets, and everything I learned about myself and the people around me hopefully could help me in my decision-makings in the future.